I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
