I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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