i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
