Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
