You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
