Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
