There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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