Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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