They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
