They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
