Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
