ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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