I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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