don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
