My hand turned me down
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
