Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
