something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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