Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
