if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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