Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
