can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
