I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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