my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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