I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
