Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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