who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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