somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
