I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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