Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
