We got so high we made milksteak
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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