after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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