Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need moral support for this bender
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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