I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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