I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fuck appropriateness.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
