What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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