ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have aggressive nipples.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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