It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
