my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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