She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
