Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
