my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
