I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
