Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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