you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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