I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
