in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
