Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
