Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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