We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
