Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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