she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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