your parents love me but you hate me
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
