let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
