The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
