there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
