well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
