I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize