youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
