What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
