Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
